We have already established that the blog is dead. It’s tired and it needs a revival. As such, a change of tack is needed, so here goes, my foray into the world of ridiculously melon collie and thought provoking blogs, with not a scent of humour. If you don’t like it, HTFU.
Probably as a consequence of watching way too many teen soap dramas and enjoying them, I sometimes feel as though my life is a TV show. When I look back on my memories they condense themselves into neat little blocks of memories which resemble an episode, complete with appropriate theme music. The relationships between my friends will always work out in the end and nothing bad will ever really happen. And if it does it will all work out in the end, because we are in TV land and the protagonists always get out of it alright, good always triumphs over evil, and everyone lives happily ever after.
And then something happens that jolts me back to reality, and I suddenly realise whatever happens, happens forever. I can’t hit the rewind button and re-write the episode. Its done and dusted and I have to deal with the consequences. God knows why I am thinking of it today, but one such incident was when my Mum crashed her car quite badly on the freeway about a year ago.
I was at home when I heard about it and though nothing of it really, pretty much ‘Stupid Mum, learn to drive’, but then Dad called me and said the ambulance had taken her to hospital and she had crashed into the barrier at close to 100 k’s. And I suddenly realised if anything happened, it was for keeps. I might not have a Mum anymore, and it was one of the most sobering experiences of my life. I simply didn’t want to imagine what life would be like without my Mother.
As it turned out she was fine, with just a few bruises. But try as I might I couldn’t shake this reality feeling. I couldn’t stop thinking about situations or occurrences that could change my life. And the fact that it was my life, not a TV show that I could escape from if it became to embarrassing or hard, this was it, and its here to stay.
It usually lasts a couple of days and then I blissfully float back into my world, where I don’t have to think about things like that constantly. I think it’s a defence mechanism, I would be paralysed by fear and trepidation if I had to think about bad shit happening to the people I love all the time. But they come back to haunt me sometimes on days like today. Sometimes life would be easier as a TV show.
