Jesus and those dreaded sweatmongs.....

With Sweatmongs being the latest 'must have' in the world of fashion, i thought it would be an appropriate time to cast my mind back to the days of old, before sweatmonging was cool. I took the luxury of casting my mind back as far as i could until i came to a point where i just couldnt continue thinking anymore. My mind was anchored. i had found the pinnacle and, dare i say it, the original sweatmong.

Jesus Christ.

Pictured right>> Our biblical hero, nay, maestro, can be seen demonstrating the correct grip for a demon-like inswinging yorker that would have had moses trembling in his sandals.

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But anyway, this is not about Jesus bowling from the cathedral end- it's about his time spent with the dreaded sweatmongs.

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According to the Gospels, Jesus was raised from the dead on the third day after his crucifixion. And this is the moment in history that i want to discuss- sure historians have exhausted a vast many a topics in regards to our comrade Jesus, but there is one that i feel has been overlooked.

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The dreaded Sweatmongs.

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After all that time chilling (as opposed to hanging(surely this cool cat smoked weed-a weed nap perhaps?)) what would the final crucial minutes have been like before he came out and reappeared. What would have been going through his mind? Thoughts, no doubt, such as 'will these people believe me?' 'what will they say' etc etc... but what i really want to know is, how did he handle the sweatmongs. Yes, he was the son of 'god' but surely he was human enough to be sketching. Of course my thinking does not stop there, what then would he have done with such sweaty sweatmongs? Surely he couldnt wipe it on his clothes. Jesus has been chilling in a dusty tomb for days, a wipe of the sweatmongs on the old tunic would have lead to large noticable stains on his shirt...

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So where did Jesus go from here? what did he do with the mongs? We may never know and that is the greatest tragedy of all, especially for all those faithful followers who wear the "what would jesus do?" bracelets.

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God forbid these people ever get sweatmongs, it may just be too much to for them...