Abortion and a Woman's Right to Choose

Today I am going to continue my run of serious blogs and just for a change, add a bit of controversy. It will surprise none of you who know me at all that occasionally I like to play the devils advocate and bring new twists to situations, and I have no compunction in putting forward controversial points of view if I think it needs to be said, so strap yourselves in and get ready.

I am a strong believer in the right for women to have legal, safe, affordable and as far as possible painless abortions. The world is not like it once was, abortions can be done safely, and sometimes it is kinder to a potential child not to be brought into this world. If the parent/s feel that they are not ready to provide the kind of life that they feel the child deserves then it can be the right thing to have an abortion. I’m not saying that it is ever an easy decision and I am sure the emotional scars can last for years. But it is an option in most states in Australia.

It strikes me as ridiculous that abortion is still a criminal offence in Victoria, and is in South Australia as well, unless the well being of the mother is at stake. This exception is used widely in SA, with doctors saying the mental well being of the mother is at risk of harm. Of course there is limits as to at what point of pregnancy it is still right to have abortion for differing reasons, and there has to be. There is a lot of debate about these limits, but that is for another time and another blog.

This is where the controversial bit starts. Like I have said before, I am all for legal abortions and a woman’s right to choose. After all it’s her body, her life, her child. What I want to know about is where is the fathers right to choose? It seems to me that the vocal crowd that keeps baying for rights of mothers often forget about the fathers. How is it fair for a woman to insist on having a baby, against the father’s wishes, or even without the father’s knowledge, and then insist that that same father is then responsible for the child, must pay child support or risk being stigmatised as a ‘dead beat dad’. Surely that is being hypocritical.

I know that I can’t possibly hope to understand the complexities of the emotions a woman must go through when she is pregnant. And I am in no way suggesting that fathers should have as much as a say as mothers in whether an abortion occurs or not. But what I am saying is if a women decides to have a baby against the wishes of the father, then surely that has to be taken into account when deciding child support. Maybe a total absence of child support isn’t the way to go, but surely a reduced rate. And then that should also play a part in the mother’s decision. How is it that fathers are derided for avoiding their responsibility to the mother, but it is ok for mothers to abdicate their responsibility to the father?

I am sick of the debate centring on how women and mothers feel about abortion and pregnancy, as if all males are some sort of automated, non-feeling, impregnating bastards. You know what, men have feelings too, and some fathers are just as devastated by abortions as some mothers. I don’t see how it is congruous to suggest that fathers take responsibility for their actions, yet their right to have a say on what those actions are end with the sex. You know what, it takes two people to have sex, to become pregnant (normally) and two people are responsible for the well being of the child once it is born. Yet for some reason, one half of those responsible often get cut out of one of the crucial decisions in the whole business.

I am not for one minute suggesting that a unanimous decision must be come to in every case. This is clearly not possible or reasonable. And the ultimate decision of whether to have a baby has to rest with the mother; there can be no argument about that. I don’t want to see the ridiculous situation where a man can force a woman to have his baby. What I do want is for the women to take responsibility for what was ultimately two people’s choice.

It is often said in the child support debate that the man made that choice when he slept with the women, and now he must take responsibility. Well so did the woman. And I think it is grossly unfair for a woman to force her choice onto a man, and then expect that man to pay for it for the rest of his life. I agree there is a differing degree of emotional attachment and damage to be done in a lot of cases, but that does not warrant a free pass for women to decide the fate of men’s futures merely because they both chose to sleep together. Nor are most men emotionless beings running around impregnating women and the telling then to ‘just get an abortion’. The world is not as simple as that.

Unfortunately this view point is often ignored in favour of women’s rights, as though all pregnant women are somehow saints that ended up with a baby after a man promised them the world and left them with nothing. And I am sick of half of the population being treated as such pariahs. Yes some men are like that, as are some women evil, conniving, bitches, willing to do anything to make someone’s life a misery. Women and men are equally responsible for unwanted pregnancies, and should be equally involved in ALL stages of the decision making process. The law needs to reflect this and also make both parties responsible for the decisions they make.



PS I would love you to comment on this if you agree or disagree with me. And please take into account this is just one side of the story I think is often ignored, it is not necessarily the way to go, but I think it needs to be looked at more carefully.