I like to eat pure fat

We all know how well I like to eat, and how I like to strictly control my intake of fats and other bad things. The (long) weekend was a shining example from me of the importance of eating well, and staying fit. What follows is everything I ate from after dinner Thursday until I went to sleep Sunday night. I call it my ‘How to Stay Thin and Healthy the Schmidt Way’ diet. It makes interesting reading.

Friday - skip breakfast because I am lazy, get a box of pre cooked noodles from Coles from lunch before golf - fat 31.9 g and sugar 10.2 grams. To keep the energy (and the sugar and caffeine levels) up I decided that it was best I also had three cans of coke on the golf course. After some introspection, it was decided to have a large whopper value meal for dinner. It had one of the best, freshest Whopper’s I’ve ever had. And I have had a lot. Nonetheless, the meal had a fat intake of 62.2 g and a sugar level of 78.4 g. Thanks bun, why don’t you be more sweet and tasty.

Saturday - Again breakfast was a commodity I could little afford as the rush to make Seano look good and get the Elliott household in a reasonable shape for me to try and pick up 21 year olds (and fail) got underway. There was time for a quick Nando’s chicken burger meal (59.4g fat, 75.7 g sugar) however. Very tasty, but I didn’t quite manage to finish it. Of course there was copious amounts of Kotlety and other goodies at Laura’s party and the only part of the diet I can’t quantify properly. Needless to say, in all that oil there must’ve been a fair amount of lovely, healthy fat.

Sunday - After a heavy day of eating, drinking a making merry the day before, there was little point in eating at all on Sunday. So I didn’t until I managed to drag myself out of bed and over to the Dylbot’s to watch Casualties of War. Luckily, there was a handy KFC on the way, and once again it failed to disappoint. Another large Zinger Burger Extreme meal and all of a sudden I felt like KFC had acquitted itself above and beyond once again. Twice in two weeks it had hit the spot like nothing else possibly could. Keep this up and KFC will soon be at the top of the tree where it looks like it might belong. Of course it never is far away from a big fall though. Anyway that little gem of a meal had 59.5g of fat and 76.1g of sugar.

And so my weekend diet was complete. And all it had was 213.0g of fat and 174.3g of sugar. And there wasn't even any toast. Not bad for three days of almost pure junk food and soft drink. The secret is to have nothing else in between. Of course there was a distinct lack of vegetables, but that’s why I got the potato and gravy with the KFC. And don’t forget whoppers have lettuce and tomato on them. Follow this diet to become a fit and healthy specimen just like me. Good Luck…